i don't understand.

i don't understand why these things are happening now of all times.

i don't understand how i could do such abstract things as "let go".

i don't understand why people just seem to choose this particular moment to go MIA.

i don't understand how others around me can see you, feel you, touch you, commune and dine with you while i find myself constantly wondering, "maybe this is just not for me".

i don't understand how i came to be who i am now, how things have changed so quickly yet so subtly in the past several weeks.

i don't understand what i'm supposed to be doing,
who i'm supposed to be being.




i don't understand your timing, your power, your wisdom,
your love, your grace.

i don't understand how you could love such an ungrateful,
tactless, awkward creature like me.








thank you.




i want to go deeper. i want to delve.