coffee makes me crazy

i have half an hour left before my midterm, but am totally not in the mood to study. a couple of random things are on my mind, and i might as well write them down cause i ain't gonna get any work done anyway. :p


- i wanna music. i want to learn how to sing better. i want to learn how to guitar better. i want to learn how to creative better.
(bad grammar don't bother me as much as it does some of y'all. :p)

i want to tap into the creative/artsy side of me, if there is one. part of me keeps saying, "you're ok, but you're not THAT good." whatever. i might not be, but i love it.

i want music to be (one place) where i encounter God.


- i still don't know what my calling is. and i don't think i'm meant to find out only after a couple days of searching. but this is what i came across...i remembered the theme verse for urbana06:

"As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." [Ephesians 4:1]

i had finished the book of job recently and needed another book to read, and as soon as i remembered this verse, i decided to read ephesians. AND IT WAS SO GOOD. there were a lot of different things that were pretty profound, but on the topic of "calling", this is what i came across:

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." [4:11-13]

we each have our own calling. i have my own calling set out for me. you have your own calling set out for you. i was not meant to be an apostle and a prophet and an evangelist and a pastor and a teacher and whatever else. i was not meant to be you.

i simply have to become what God called me to be.

how liberating is that.

"From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." [v.16]

the whole body will grow and build itself in love as each part does its work. as we all pursue and find and live out the calling God has set aside for each of us, the whole body of Christ will grow together and attain to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

how crazy is that. :)


sigh. time for my midterm. yay. :p

good luck me.